“Fluke” by Christopher Moore

Big Christopher Moore Fan, right here.  I’ve read everything the wacky and irreverent Mr. Moore has published, and chuckled my way through all of it while being genuinely interested in the crazy stories being told.  From the vampires and death-wielding thrift store owners “Bite Me” and “A Dirty Job” to the zombie-and-sea-monster-fighting inhabitants of the tourist town of Pine Cove.

Of all Moore’s works, “Fluke” is one of my favorites.

Nate, a marine biologist, is studying humpback whales off the coast of Hawaii when things get weird – a whale he and his crew are watching has “Bite Me” written on it’s tail, and their equipment gets sabotaged. That’s not even the weirdest part, but if I say anything more I’ll ruin things and then you’ll be mad at me and then where would we be? There are traces of “Moby Dick,” “Pinocchio,” and a whole boatload of sci-fi thrown around, and the whole thing comes off like an underwater version of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”  Populated with colorful characters – including a white Rasta boy who Moore has used in other works – “Fluke” is a trip of a read.

There are some wonderful lines contained here, too.

“Actually, orcas aren’t quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.”

“Shoes off in the whale! And don’t try and make a break for the anus.”

“Animals might put up with that smiley shit, but people will eventually kill you for it.”

Just do yourself a favor – read it. Trust me.